13 February 2012

The Tao of Mittens

Dear Dr. Bones,

¿How about this

Insofar as he is the source and the guarantor for the Law, the Empty Suit [1] is identified with the Way™. Thus he must devote himself to being empty: he is empty of all desire, empty of all thought, and empty of all intentionality. The Empty Suit rules his subjects thanks to the [L]aw, radiant as _yang_, and thanks to manipulation techniques, hidden as _yin_, that free him from dependence on his own talents. This control over others comes through his clear-sightedness. Even though all eyes are turned ro him, the Empty Suit can manipulate others because the proper techniques allow him to see through them. His subjects are transparent to him provided that he is impenetrable to them. It is enough that he appears indifferent, while others are inflated with appetites and possessed by passions.[2] A man without qualities, he offers nothing to others because he is nothing other than the mirror reflecting nothing.

Still, he must possess the secrets for attaining this state.

To the outward art of dominating others through their passions is opposed the esoteric art of self-control, consisting of ruling one’s appetites, or rather ridding oneself of them. The elimination of desires can only be obtained through . . . (&c. &c.)

for consilience, sir? Or call it ‘serendipity’.

Happy days.

[1] Paddy McTammany has ventued to put "empty suit" where the English translation of the French translation of the Orientobabble original has ‘sovereign’. By Paddy’s dim Western lights, Mittens ain’t sovereign yet. _D. V._, never will be.

And yet one wants a generic or quasi-pronominal expression, ’twere uncouth to just stick in "Governor Romney," even though the fit be so perfect that one hardly requires any Tee Putty to seal the deal.

Tee Putty is available, however, both on the West side and on the East, as follows:

(1) Research has revealed that one empty suit in six belongs to Willard Mitt Romney. More exactly, the pet g@@gle claims 1,860,000 matches for "empty suit" _simpliciter_ as against 358,00 for the set { "empty suit", "Romney" }. That is 19.25%, close enough. Almost, but not, by Paddy’s dim Western lights, quite enough to speak of "one empty suit in FIVE."

Paddy doubts that any other individual public figure, dead or brain-dead, even begins to be fit to tie His Excellency’s shoelaces, emptysuitwise. However, I admittedly have not looked into other contestants, preferring, personally, to follow Count Dracula’s--¿or was it Anthony Trollope’s?--excellent plan of not doing any research after sunrise.

(2) Tee Putty East is located in the very next sentence.

Paddy certainly did not make up the ‘empty’ part, though one of those pestiferous transpersons may have. Although there was probably not many ‘suits’ (in the sartorial sense) around in (-2696)–(-2598) of the Wiki Epoch, yet there were, as we learn from the oracle itself, "manipulation techniques" that permitted, maybe even ensured, "control over others."

Whereas "empty suit" is, after all, a figurative expression, and

Whereas the only suit of interest in connection with ‘Mittens’ Romney is the executive suit, now reduced to being a sort of Class uniform overwhelmin’ly associated with the secret-sector business corporation, and

Whereas even today the chief end of the H*rv*rd Victory School M.B.A. is to attain "control over others" usin’ "manipulation techniques," an’ ‘transparency, an’ ‘impenetrability’, even "freedom from dependence on one’s own talents" in the sense that the former Allston (Mass.) Academy of Chirurgy and Barber Science inculcates Big Management as if it were a matter of technique or erudition rather than of animal magnetism or personal flair, a ‘science’ rather than an art,

Paddy McTammany therefore concludes that the Yellow Emperor knew at least as much about the Big Management by Empty Suits as does W. M. Romney ’75. A whole lot more, that would be, than was ever apprehended by G. W. Bush, also ’75.

[2] "Hi, there Massa Speaker! An’ you too, Saint Rick!"

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