"[not] nearly as plasticized in person"

Dear Dr. Bones,

The Brat Pack [1] are gonna be needin’ whole oceans of soothin’ drool like this before they finally swallow our old pal ‘Mittens’ [2], so please be sure to award _M. le baron de Goldman_ lots and lots of bonus points for makin’ such an early start.

His freelordship will be happy to have a cushion, I suspect, because if he keeps on as he has commenced, there will be many, many point subtractions on account of the freelordly agitprop technique.

His freelordship makes one interesting mistake on Day One and makes it very distinctly. I believe we should make a memorandumb of his freelordship’s second paragraph:

First, Romney didn’t look nearly as plasticized in person as in the TV debates. In front of a sympathetic crowd, and without notes, he sounded a lot more genuine, enthusiastic, and Reaganesque than the carefully-coiffed figure we hear on the tube.

The trouble with that, of course, is that kiddiecons are never under any circumstances gonnabe persuaded that the MacL@@han Tube does not afford them a direct personal knowledge of the figures performin’ on it for their viewin’ pleasure. His freelordship could bark on forever about how much they’d all like Mittens if they "could just really meet him," say, in a brothel or a shoppin’ mall or at a banquet for the Chambermaids of Commerce or wherever -- an’ achieve absolutely nothin’. Wally Wombschool an’ Cindy from Wasilla are unshakeably certain that Tube-based acquaintance is ¡at least! as good as the so-called "real thing." [0]

Were it in fact the case that Master Wally an’ Mizz Cindy would have to get close enough to Freelord Romneycare to shake a tentacle in order to think well of his plasticine [3] freelordship, poor Mittens would be doomed electorally. Since his freelordship is now certain to be the 2012 POTUSsal nominee of America’s Otherparty, it follows _per contra_ that Tube-basin’ can produce entirely satisfactory results when competently performed.

However, direct verbal assurances to that effect being no part of competent performance, I hereby subtract seven (7.0) points from Freelord Goldman’s score.

Let me know how *you* rate this latest ripe fruit of the Pajamatarian Mind.

Happy days (through affordable glovecare)
--JHM


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[1] I speak loosely. The gutvolks who really NEED Mittophile drool are, plainly, the hired-hand specialists in Brat Pack Management, not that obscure, palpitatin’ wad of pajamaclad kiddie selfservatives who constitute the rank-an’-file Base an’ Vile.

At the top of the Party iceberg, jowls resplendent in the light an’ toes well up out of the chilly brine, perch their Serene Firstlordships, the Hirers of Hands, in whose interest all things (properly) Republicanine come to pass.

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[2] http://j.mp/tiigtk

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[3] There is rather a fun funny lurkin’ in ‘plastic’ for the "Classic Studies" subclass of wombscholar, like that good-natured dingalingess who rang up Dr. Limbaugh on Monday. There cannot, however, be very many of her out there.

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[0] Not really pertinent here, yet never-too-often-repeated-given-half-an-excuse, are the sage observations of Karl, Firstlord Rove in the peerage of Foxcuckooland, concernin’ the former "real world":

"That is not the way the world really works anymore. WE are an Empire now , and when WE act, WE create OUR OWN reality. And while you’re studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- WE will act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. WE are history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what WE do.’’ (&c.) "

(( Actually, it may even be kinda pertinent, as follows: his firstlordship did not explain to Comrade Suskind exactly HOW a whole Rovan Empire can be built in a day. I have always taken for granted that the MacL@@han Tube must play an enormous rôle. Today, 11/03/2011 04:01AM, I notice that I have been taking this for grant and ask Dr. Bones to prepare a memorandumb of the fact.

(( ¡Be caveated, O Bones! that you will soon, in all probability, be called upon to study a neoreality labelled somethin’ like Up from Plastic: Meet the New Real Romney! . ))





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