"Wingnuts, sir, are an *honest* people"

Dear Dr. Bones,

Probably the key to this latest thrillin’ episode of "¡Yeaaaaah for YaleoDrama™a!" is not what you are thinking, sir.

I admit this show of the Hire Bozodom *looks* as if his freelordship of Simon Pajama has simply had that vacant lot between the recently gentrified ears stuffed full of Dr. Limbaugh’s day-old dittos, that he is down for the neostruggle ’gainst the stodgy ol’ Republicanine Establishment (RK9E), all those icky Karl Hannas an’ Mark Roves an’ General St. Alexander of Hamilton, Esq., wannabes who have never yet allowed their own Party’s sweet puppies off the leash properly. "¿Who says, ‘Whightboys can’t jump’?"

To watch his freelordship jump an’ jive with The Herminator, barkin’ an’ bellowin’ "I can *too* jump, Ma, ¡you just watch me!" is so excessively meretricious that I doubt not that all has been carefully calculated for effect in some top-secret Labóratory of YaleoDra™a at Pajama Junction NJ or Neohaven CT or possibly Undisclosed Springs WY, out by the Cheney spread.

A lot of the freelordly calculation is accessible to the mean(-spiritèd)est intelligence. Naturally when his freelordship perverted from Hollywood Hebraism to the First Church of Eddie Burke, no blanket endorsement of the way the latter conduct their rites -- the way that got them called "God’s Frozen People," ¿don’t you know? -- was expressed or implied. From Day Zero -- maybe even from Day Thirteen BPE, "before the Pajamatarian Epoch," -- his freelordship will have been intendin’ to give the other whightboys remedial coachin’ in the saltation department. "To make it more FUN to scab for ScroogeBank," a sayer might say. (Your competent sayer could say this one a zillion different ways, actually, and drag in pretty well every bit of prole-soundin’ slang she ever heard correctly. Plus some bits which she perhaps did not quight.)

Meanwhile, back at the country club, the RK9E nobility an’ (Upper) neogentry continue to maintain that the Chief End of Macho is to knock little white balls around a green-side-up course. [0]

That’s only the _literaliter_ of Establishment stodge, of course, yet the _allegorice_ is like unto it: to clobber their own "small people" (whightboys) over the noggin with bags full of AstroTurf™ until the contents of their dittopans are reduced to Tee Putty once an’ for all. After which, ScroogeBank will rule unobstructed from sea to whinin’ sea, the North Atlantic will turn to gin-an’-tonic, the moon shine Bloody, but Merry, &c. &c. [1]

(( ¿Where was eye? ¡Ah!

(( Thou and I, Dr. Bones, probably spend too much about the intrinsic second-rateness of Neohaven an’ all its works an’ pomps. An’ autodrama™urgy. There is, after all, a whole world of lower rates still available elsewhere. Better make your reservations soon, though. ))

As I was saying, my view is that this drool was, despite certain appearances, not simply decanted into Freelord Simon from the vast droolcellars of Shatto Limbaugh, but clotted where we find it entirely spontaneously and independently. The Witch Doctor of Democracy would never bark some of his freelordship of Simon Pajama's here barkin's. For example "money ... too might not be as important as it is cracked up to be" is an exuberance that the WDD would never allow himself. The WDD knows his golfin’ buddies far too well to think that they are in the market for any vintage that tastes the least bit like that.

A recent pervert to the Kiddie Selfservative Movement like his freelordship no doubt needs a little time to learn the neoropes. Furthermore, in the case of Roger of Simon Pajama, there are individual quirks an' quiddities that may tend, notably (A) Neohaven, which causes his freelordship to suppose himself adequately credentialled for almost anythin' already, an’ (B) Hollywood, which his freelordship is bound to account evidence of a freelordly an’ potentially kiddiemagisterial ‘creativity’ unavailable to lesser breeds. [2]

That his freelordship aspires to be a Grand Kiddiemaster is obvious. Grander, even, than Karl, Firstlord of Rove, if possible. So it is no surprise that the latter RK9E pooh-bah should be first in line to get his windows soaped for Simoween.

Happy days.
--JHM

___
[0] Our friends over on North H*rv*rd Street appear to be pickin’ up where his freelordship of Simon Pajama left off. At least, they seem determined to apply _hammabîn yabîn_ to the name of their shoppe.

Well, O.K. If they don’t care to explain the little joke, I see no reason to get myself in trouble with Paddy and Brigit and the management of *T*H*E* Country Club by doing so for them.

=

[1] Full details of my hasty etcæteration are available in the last thrillin’ chapter of the _Neotestamentum_. San Juan may, however, left out the part about seven days of steady rain that shall put an end to Occupy Wall Street.

=

[2] By contrast, (A) Party Neocomrade (first grade) Dr. R. H. Limbaugh cannot be hindered in the rope-learnin' process by his Tert. Ed. He, blissfully, does not have any.

As for (B) ‘creativity’, that word is such a weasel that I am sure one could find some sense in which Himself of E.I.B. would humbly acknowledge that he is twice as creative as the day is long. This, however, would certainly not be a sense near akin to the ‘Hollywood’ brand c®eativity of a Simon Pajama. The Destructive ©®€@™ionism ideoproduct would be a good more pertinent.

Wisest of all, however, in coming profitably to grips with Citizen Rush is for the neocomradologist to discard the category altogether, and take the patient's own word for his utter NON-creativeness. ¿How many times does HIMSELF have to bark that all he does is express sentiments an’ resentiments that rankle obscurely already in the breasts of Wally Wombschool an' Cindy from Wasilla before we of the bicycle-challenged classes start to wonder if maybe this is not indeed the case?

Nobooby with "a Yaliewood background," so to christen the pajamatarian _Mischling_, would take that line except as a deliberate deception. Pervert though his freelordship be, yet some traits are what a caller might call "unpervertable from." Under no circumstances will Roger, zeroth Freelord of Simon Pajama in the peerage of Foxcuckooland, stop bein' a victim of IHS, Invented-Here Syndrome, where ‘here’ refers to the freelordly dittopan already alluded to disrespectfully.

Should the other lemmin’s of Party an’ AEIdeology someday refuse to let his freelordship "have ideas of his own" -- not altogether an inconceivable development, _me judice_ -- I betcha HFL will ditch them too: "¿What Life, what Joy, without golden Yaliewood?"