04 March 2012

Bozo Gets Bulldozed, or, ¿What Went Wrong?


Dear Dr. Bones,

As Comrade Omar said on a famous occasion: "If any man worshiped Muhammad, Muhammad is

What?? Rush Limbaugh actually apologized!!

Controversial broadcaster Rush Limbaugh said he “sincerely” apologizes for calling Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute” because she spoke out on birth control.
By Brad Knickerbocker, Staff writer / March 3, 2012

dead. But if any worships Father Zeus, ¡lo, HE is alive and well!"

Bozo, who we have agreed is personally untainted by religionism of any sort, is not likely to take his little set-back in that spirit, of course. But I point out to you, sir, that in principle he could: "Though he slay me, yet Lord Mammon (¡live forever!) nevertheless retains my total support."

There are limits even to "in principle," naturally. I think "Those who live by the Market will die by the Market" would not be appropriate, despite looking a great deal like the other soundbark. The trouble with that formulation is that Dr. Limbaugh has never managed to sound to the prsent keyboard as if he actually *understands* marketarianism. It is entirely unnecessary that he do so for purposes of workin’ up the wrath of the Tee Putty. All that is required of Wally Wombschool an’ Cindy from Wasilla is that they know which team to holler for, an end much easier to attain if one prescinds from explainin’ the supposed "intellectual foundation" underlyin’. That would be not bein’ permitted to root for the Georgetown Jesuits (or whatever that crew call their kiddiegamesters) without a sound mastery of the _Summa contra Gentiles_. "¡Rah, rah, Ratzinger! / Luther was a loser, sir" -- that’s the valid ticket, broadcastin’-excellence-wise.

Neither the kiddies on the field, nor the kiddies in the stands, nor the well-pompommed kiddies conductin’ the noise machine in between have any professional use for Big Tommy A. I suppose they ought to be able to recognize the name of M. d’Aquino an’ be quite clear that he was not an abhominable Prod, but everythin’ beyond that is supererogatory. Maybe even counterproductive. Betcha many a young Papish has mislaid her milk faith [1] by impertinently lookin’ into the SCG and other specialists-only literature.

But seriously, strike "Aquinas" and insert the johnhancock of some approved Secret-Sectorian Messiah. Freddy, Freelord of Hayek, would do nicely, especially since the Muses and you and I have all actually worked through Die Verfassung der Freiheit. So, for that matter, has Dr. Limbaugh, probably, in the sense of havin’ passed the freelordly gaze over (almost) every sentence on (almost) every page. In the sense of bein’ able to recite on poor Freddy half adequately, though, .... Well, I already said what I think on that front.

Freelord Freddy, though, is too high-falutin’ an’ _zwischeneuropäisch_ to have much direct bearin’ on the Witch Doctor of Democracy’s latest. With Freddy, the Hellword [2] is always used in that kiddie-confoundin’ continental or ‘classical’ sense, one that assumes a framework inside which the crude question "¿Should mattress moguls be able to buy apologies (or ‘apologies’) from the likes of Dr. Limbaugh?" can hardly arise.

But I am getting ahead of myself. I just gave away my own view on what crude question it is that has arisen, and that without even asking for your own views. ¡Tusk, tusk!

The cat being out of the bag, though, let us flog the Bozo of E-i-B with it a little. What his freelordship ought to do, thinks Paddy McTammany, is take a lesson from His Grace of Cambrai, _Anno Religionismi_ 1109-1698-5458,

(...) [I]l prenait la défense de Madame Guyon (celle-ci avait fini par être presque considérée comme une ennemie publique, au point qu’elle avait été arrêtée en 1698). Fénelon se soumit avec humilité et abjura publiquement ses erreurs.

or, as the scamp brother to St. Jack put it, Fénelon "played his opponent [Bossuet] off the field" with submission and abjuration and humility. ¡’Twas a signal triumph for the Poor Mouth, that human event!

To be sure, the heathen Dr. Limbaugh has no M. de Rome to cringe before. This, however, is not an obstacle worthy of mention, for all Bozo has to do is cringe before Mlle. de la Main Invisible herself, which is much less humiliatin’ for all concerned. [3]

Once down on his kneepads, Dr. Limbaugh ought to choose his exact words of ‘apology’ (or apology) with some care. More care than a bozoe is capable of, in all probability. Be that as it may, what Paddy would do, if he ever painted myself into such a corner, is stress that the Mattress Moguls possess every whight to push goodvolks like Party Neocomrade R. H. Limbaugh-- hired-hand agitproppers, that is--around as they please. That is what "Freedumb of Enterprise" means.

What F. of E. does *not* entail is that the hired hand actually believe whatever pious viennasausage his Employin’ Corporation(s) may choose to compel him to bark. Subjective sincerity is entirely another story. [6]

Yet this story is not, however, one that Bozo can tell in the immediate vicinity of the genuflection event. His freelordship would simply be stealin’ from the Mattress Moguls if he made it unmistakable to the meanest intelligence that the *only* cause of this freelordly an’ kiddiemagisterial _mea culpa_ was that the Slumberlords _et al._ sent out their thugs to twist his arm.

The thing to do, then, it seems to me, is to ‘apologize’ a little to the meretricious ‘maid’, but go on as quickly as seems decent--decent by standards generally obtaining *outside* the immediate Rio Limbaugh/Port Ste. Lucie heteropolitan area--to apologize to the Mattress Moguls. And to Al. That _mea culpa_ Bozo can really believe in, though I doubt Bozo actually does. In theory, though, an’ accordin’ to the AEIdeology, not even the self-celebrated Dr. Limbaugh can claim perfect freedumb to inconvenience his Employin’ Corporation’s advertisers whenever the fit takes him. Unless some clause actually says so in the pertinent employment or advertising contracts, that is, naturally. Such a specification is extremely unlikely, but not altogether impossible. [4]

As a showbiz _shtyk_, apology to the Slumberlords for all the trouble that Bozo has undeniably caused them could easily merge seamlessly into recommendin’ their wunnerful products to the attention of Master Wally an’ Mizz Cindy. His freelordship is already a dab hand at that ploy, though to be sure it’s a little easier with LifeLock (©) , or Wingsdale College, or the Heritagitarian baloney factory than it would be with mattresses. Wally Wombschool might begin to suspect he is bein’ practiced on if Bozo suddenly starts barkin’ ’bout the urgent need to get a good night’s rest before marchin’ forth whight an’ early to put down Obamacare.[5]

Happy days.

--JHM

_____
[1] Rhymes with "milk teeth." Signifies _fides non formata_. More or less.


[2] ‘L*b*r*l’ and various derived forms.


[3] The psychobabble part here is in La Rouchefoucauld, I think it is, somewhere, only starring Father Zeus rather than the transparent damsel. (The pet G@@gle is not having a good day.)


[4] All Paddy’s above advice is inoperative if such a contract exists. In that case, Bozo should almost certainly disclose the terms an’ then insist on ’em. _¡Fiat justitia, ruat cælum!_, ¡that’s the ticket!


[5] Allow me, Dr. Bones, to wish you and yours a splendid--nay, a Riefenstahl-worthy--March Forth Day. And many happy returns.

[6] Though just an accident, it is a happy accident that the proverb for goodvolks like Bozo runs "He who pays the piper, calls the tune." With strictly instrumental music, I mean, the question of whether the piper "believes in" what she has been funded to pipe does not come up.


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