"... a seismic shift in the political preferences of ..."

Dear Dr. Bones,

As you may have heard elsewhere, there is a classy struggle goin’ on about exactly who is to big-manage the Party of Big Management.

The trouble with those elsewhere accounts, I fear, is that few GOP/AEI kiddiemasters or Christokorean guruetttes or Castle Podhóretz neogentry start themselves with an accurate notion of how "their own Party" has traditionally misbehaved itself.

Despite Rupert, Firstlord Murdoch and Kiddiemaster Foxcuckoo in the peerage of Wingnut City, bein’ in person an admirable example of the true principle, his freelordship’s own wage slaves--not even to mention the ultimate patients / victims / ‘customers’ (big-managees) of News Corporation[1] --are unwillin’ to admit that the racket in question is far more about Big Management than about anythin’ else in particular. America’s Otherparty (like the associated AEIdeology), for which they gush forth endless effusions of keystrokes, belongs far more to Freelord Rupert than to the small people, "cloth-coat Republicanians" an’ so on an’ so forth. Honest jackals in attendance on their freelordly betters, as it were.

The jackals are ‘honest’ by my standards, at least, though I recognize that you have always thought I let political troublemakers off the hook about plain lying and fancy ‘cynicism’. Today’s neospecimen does my position no harm. Who can seriously suppose that a Neocomrade (Seventh Class) S. X. Deace is bright enough to rehearse specific lies that it has has not talked its own neoself into at least sorta believin’ first? And the idea that an NC7 SXD mechanism could adhere to American-Otherpartisan or AEIdeological views all across the board entirely because it has decided that such is the best way to butter its own bread? That agreeable fantasy is straight out of Lookin’-Glass Land To suggest such a dotty scenario strikes me as only an especially displeasing way to make fun of intellectual and ethical cripples.[2]

Jackal Deace is far from able-minded. Who but a clown or a cripple would meak out that "civil war" and "a tale of two paradigms" are completely different notions. [3] Still, most of the guruettes and gurus of the Kiddie Selfservative Movement do undoubtedly talk like that of late. As if, that is, becomin’ a wholly-owned subsidiary of the AstroTurf™baggin’ classes would radically change the nature of the Party of Grant and Hoover an’ Goldwater ’n’ Atwater. Also as if such a further self-degradation by Big Party Managers were a highly probable event, like it or not.

It (our figurative jackdaw or jackal) likes ‘seismic’ and ‘lavish’ as well as ‘paradigm’, notice:

... a seismic shift in the political preferences of the Republican base as the GOP has squandered the power voters lavished upon it over the past decade....

The evidence of thesauroma [4] is plain on the rhetorical or agitprop front, unlike the alleged ‘shift’, which I appear to have slept through without noticing.

The self-servicin’ kiddies have, to be sure, shifted a little away from cowerin’ under their potatoe couches in terror for their (?) airliners and skyscrapers, but that cannot be what NC7 SXD means: George XLIII was installed by extraördinary judicial mechanism well before the Big Bang, after all.

Master Jackdaw does seems to wish that the base an’ vile of its Party had remained more vigilant against the Islamophalangitarian Menace (Pat. Pend.) than they actually have. And indeed, if the Granto-Hooverites were ever to decide that aggression and invasionism overseas are henceforth to be their core and pith and crux and gist and general neoëssence, why, that factional self-degradation and act of Destructive Creationism would merit some stronger term than ‘shift’. Students of neocomradology would require somethin’ with a whole lotta syllables, like maybe ‘transmogrification’.

Yet since even the NC7 SXD mechanism does not think it is actually happenin’, I believe I will spare you my fun pscenario of how Kiddie Selfservatism en Amérique might actually go that route someday until it is really called for.

Meanwhile, one might adequately explain this Silly Season scribble by considering what is antecedently likely to eventuate when the eye of the jackdaw is combined with the mind of the cripple. All that gets ‘shifted’ is the neomechanism’s attention. On Monday an’ Wednesday an’ Friday, it is struck by one part of the Anatomy of the Elephant, on Tuesdays and Neosabbaths, by another, an’ on Thursdays and Palæosabbaths, by yet a third. Of course the whole triune beastliness of Party and Ideology is present every day of the week. There is no question of anythin’ actually changin’ here, only of the beastliness in question not bein’ perfectly homogeneous.

If that is not adequate--and I think, now that I have written it down, that perhaps it is not--you may fortify it with the consideration that an other-ranks whiner from the Party Base an’ Vile like Neocomrade S. X. Dease is vaguely pretendin’ to advice its Betters, the big-managerial G.O.P. Geniuses, what to do next. Unfortunately, it has no proper conception of the significance of bein’ a hack pol for America’s Otherparty. Master jackdaw shows no sign of understandin’ that its Daddy Warbucks and its Uncle Scrooge and, literaliter, its Tio Ruperto are the true G.O.P. geniuses, that the likes of Freiherr Johann von Böhner and Freiherr Erik von Kantor and Freelord McConnell (&c. &c.) are comparatively unimportant.

If that crew were REALLY smart cookies and neocookies, naturally they’d be workin’ over at Goldman Sachs or thereabouts; certainly not at Beltway City DC.

I can spin you a pscenario in which the rise of AstroTurf™baggery would be a disaster for the existin’ Party Paymasters, easily enough: imagine that Lord Mammon’s team becomes a wilderness of Messrs. Ross Perot, checkbook-wieldin’ cranks and boobs who have not the slightest notion of TopPercenter solidarity. The Grant-Hoover racket could easily then fall apart pretty much the way the Lenin-Gorbachev racket fell apart.

Easy enough to imagine, that is. Yet one would have to be almost as wet behind the ears, and empty in between them, as Neocomrade S. X. Deace to expect it.

***

The little neoladdie manages to be confusin’ about its own druthers. It says tolerably clearly that it expects its own New Paradigm -- a ’Turf’bagger Ascendancy -- to prevail, though of course not that the fantasy will collapse immediately once it happens. At the same time, it emits nothin’ that has any tendency to make your typical Kiddie Selfservative root for ’Turf’bagger Ascendancy.

The neospecimen does not even seem to want ’Turf’bagger Ascendancy much itself. If we were dealing with an intellectually and ethically competent publicist, this could be explained with reference to its remark about ’turf’baggery bein’ "a force of nature." That is to say, "Who cares whether you like it, little man, when the thing is goin’ta happen anyway?"

Anybody can talk that talk, of course, and it does have a bracing air of steel-claptrap-mindedness about it, does it not? Nostradamus and M. de Lénine know the future before it happens, unlike us humble..

However when all the rest of an agitprop performance is wimpy mush of the lowest grade, there is no warrant to drag in Nostradamus. Inevitability and "force of nature" are themselves just conceptual baubles that happen to have caught the jackdaw eye. And the cripple mind cannot tell the difference between two ‘paradigms’ and two laundry lists.

***

Probably the best thing to do with this baloney, Dr. Bones, would be to file it under Hormone-Basin’. The neocomradlin’ does not care much about the substance of its Brave New Foxcuckooland, but it certainly does seem to consider that the more militant and extreme the Vast Whight-Wing Conspiracy becomess, the better.[5]

And cheer up, sir! There cannot be a large number of loony godzillionaires who will be wantin’ to pay for the type of artificial dirt that Neocomrade S. X. Dease happens to like best. We may run into a great deal too much whight-wingery for our own tatste, but few economic TopPercenters are likely to abandon themselves to it altogether.

(( "[B] iblical worldview," forsooth! ))

Happy days.




___
[1] The really accomplished neocomradologist, or an insolent pretender to erudition, can evidently score a few points by knowing that, like the former "Moral Majority," there is no definite article in "News Corporation," even though the Greater Texan language makes it seem all but unidiomatic to omit a ‘the’ in from of both. And Bentley knows best.


[2] For the very, very few capable of systematic cynicism, I daresay there is a lot to be said for a world in which everybody else piously believes in the oracles of Lord Mammon, but one sees through that shamanism oneself. But come along, Dr. Bones! You might as sensibly accuse a Neocomrade S. X. Deace of havin’ invented the Internet as of entertain’ any such all-but-Moynihanian neocleverness.

I’d be amazed if such a neospecimen ever got as far as worryin’ a little that His Selenic Effulgence , the neospecimen’s concrete paymaster at least as regards this one scribble, has not the happiness to be a subject of the Heimatland Gottes. Not even a semisubject like Firstlord Murdoch is HSE! Not even a native thinker in Greater Texan!! Golly!!!


[3] I betcha our jackal has a jackdaw eye for verbal trash and trumpery like "paradigm." Perhaps it is a product of Wombschool Normal University or St. Dilbert Antistate College that would like to whistle itself up somethin’ a little tonier, backgroundwise?

Big LEW doesn’t know more about this neospecimen than that it "previously did sports talk radio (most recently with sister station KXNO) before taking over the afternoon drive slot in June 2006," which is not much.

KXNO is siblin’ to WHO-AM at Des Moines, a burg that must be located on both side of the Mississippi, if I still have my ‘K’s and ‘X’s right.

Be that as it may, NC7 DXS almost certainly did not pick up its ‘paradigm’ from the lingo of any holy-Homelandic™ kiddie game played by ostensible grown-ups. Possibly futból connoiseurs talk about los paradigmas del juego in Undocumento, but in plain clean-cut an’ redstate-blooded Greater Texan? No weigh.


[4] Malignant swellin’ of Roget’s gland.


[5] "Electing people who don’t share my core convictions is a loser - period."