Crater the Less

Dear Dr. Bones,

Wouldn’t it be fun if Neocomrade J. X. Crater here happened to be President Jimmy's idiot neonephew?

Nepotism is probably lacking, but neoïdiocy abounds. Today’s little neoladdie seems genuinely to expect that if somebody will only repeat the Executive Summary of Chicagonomics for Dhimmies to us economic heathens slowly and emphatically enough, why, naturally we must see The Neolight at once.

One must lead a very sheltered life to believe that sort of baloney, a well-wombschooled life, a life full of "cognitive hiatus" every way one looks. The kiddies can have their Neocomrade Rear-Colonel V. D. H. Blimp explain to them why Crater Minor lives the life of an "idiot" in Greek -- not gettin’ out of Foxcuckooland half enough is the crux of it.

This is the sort of blinkered factious scribble that leads many to wonder whether mammonology can be a science at all: will not Crater Minor keep on floggin’ the same ol’ cocktail-napkin neowares regardless of market response?

But not so quick. Perhaps the señorito is a devotee of Neocomrade Karl, Freelord Rove? Perhaps it supposes the former so-called "real world" to have been abolished [1]. in that case, I guess we must say we have to do with a fancy neoïdeologue rather than a plain vanilla neoïdiot. In that event, from the patient's or victim’s perspective there would be no ‘blinkers’ -- what a Crater Minor declines to acknowledge as real eo ipso ain’t real.

Dr. Krugman suffers from a mild case of the Craterian brain disease, but "with colours reversed" as the chess groupies say. This morning he solemnly and emphatically repeats from the Catechism of us lieberal fiends and demonocrats passages including this one,

Ronald Reagan said that his tax cuts would reduce deficits, then presided over a near-tripling of federal debt. When Bill Clinton raised taxes on top incomes, conservatives predicted economic disaster; what actually followed was an economic boom and a remarkable swing from budget deficit to surplus. Then the Bush tax cuts came along, helping turn that surplus into a persistent deficit, even before the crash. But we’re talking about voodoo economics here . . . .

Bein’ naturally [2] less IQ-challenged than a kiddie selfservative, Krugman detects the fragrance of voodoo in the air, but he does not in fact take the whiff very seriously. He scribbles as if he expected that little history lesson more or less settles the greedies’ neohash once and for all. Fat chance of that!


***

Perhaps the neospecimen at hand is a crank as well as a sorcerer? It fantasizes (right above its bottom line) that "Using dynamic economic analysis would prove the critics wrong."

Would you happen to know, sir, whether there is a brand-name ideoproduct available in the bazaars of Rio Limbaugh and Hooverville that is labeled "Dynamic Economic Analysis"? It might be fun to pick up a jug or two, even if it proves no better than that Bolshevik snake oil about how formal logic sadly neglects Dialectic™ and thus arrives at all sorts of uncongenial results that are just dumb mistakes, really.

If Crater Minor is playin’ that sort of neogame, I suppose it falls about halfway between Wally Wombschool and Cindy from Wasilla on the naïve end and Kiddiemaster Rove on the slick end of the Great Scale of Wingnuts. The señorito would not simply fail to see certain uncongenialities because it lives in a womb with its Uncle Rupert and wears blinkers, but neither would it possess his freelordship's sublime self-neocomfidence about damnin’ other people's torpedoes. Presented with detestable whinings like Krugman's, it would neither simply fail to hear the objections with Master Wally and Mizz Cindy, nor dismiss them out of hand as incapable of threatenin’ so august a neoracket as the Rovan Empire. It would have to muster up its DEA neoärtillery and actually do some semiserious shootin’ at poor Rear-Col. Krugman’s retrograde static views.

I doubt anybody would actually learn much from watching such a show, but it might do for a Silly Season entertainment.

And I wish you, sir, as ever,
Happy days through affordable healthcare.



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[1] ''That is not the way the world really works anymore. WE are an Empire now, and when WE act, WE create OUR OWN reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- WE will act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. WE are history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what WE do.''


[2] I have a proof that narcissism and selfocentricity are at bottom strictly intellectual failures, but unfortunately the e-margin is too narrow to contain it.