How are the Mighty fallen!

Mr. Poster (the Happy Caliph) says

I’m beginning to understand our Democratic Party’s problem: we are playing wiffleball, while the Repubs play baseball. And, we will probably just say, "We all make mistakes, so forget about it!" ....

Respondeo: We donkeys are certainly in deep doo-doo if this latest release of the M. J. Rosenberg product be the only life left in our party. "In deepest ELEPHANT doo-doo," one might even say.

Q. Do you suppose Massa Tom Donohue and the Chambermaids of Commerce commissioned MJR to come try to make us all weep along with the Freiherr von Böhner?

A. Actually, I do not. What I suppose is twofold:

(A1) Mr. Rosenberg does not know the Russian proverb "Another’s tears are water," and furthermore, (A2) his sweet tooth for sentimentality, of which he is, like most such patients or victims, inordinately fond and even proud, will start aching at once, should he ever run into it.

(B) He and his dental apparatus are at bottom only more casualties of the MacL@@han Tube -- TV is the antifloride that has put his precious body solids at risk.

Such is my diagnosis. For once in a way, I can think of a therapy also: let the patient suppose rigorously that *everything* he sees -- on any t@@b channel whatever, WWWonderland channels included -- comes to him straight from Foxcuckooland, where the Freelord of Ailes carefully precalculated all the angles an’ effects in close consultation, via the ouija board, with the late Kiddiemaster of Atwater.[1]

(( Easy enough to prescribe, and ’tis not *my* fault that the patient will almost certainly not take the pills. ))

Happy days (through affordable healthcare)!

___
[1] Not strictly the case, of course.

It seems plain that His Freelordship, the Neospeaker of the Fedguv House of Representatives, is a happy, but entirely accidental or serendipitous, trouvé from the viewpoint of the Paymasters an’ media impresarios of America’s Otherparty. If such a neospecimen as _M. le baron de Boehner_ did not exist independently, I feel quite sure that even Murdoch, Ailes, Atwater LLC could never invent it.

Fun though it would be for us decent political grown-ups to spread rumors that Dr. Victor Ronpaulryanstein, Freelord of Smarmy-Smirk, assembled the Von Böhner creature out of spare parts an’ Exmas leftovers in the dank recesses of his McCastle basement at Janesville WI an’ then galvanised it into its present condition of neolife, yet we mustn’t tell such fibs even in the best of old causes.

We may, however, think like that to ourselves privately and use such pscenarios as a guide to what the militant extremist Republicanians are likely to do next. Which is the plan I recommend to Comrade Rosenberg -- doubtless in vain. Oh, well!