"Ensure this value has at most 3000 characters (it has 6059)."

Dear Dr. Bones,

One of the great inconveniences of being a Sole Remainin’ Hyperpower, _c’est les autres_!

The paymasters of Party an’ Ideology used to like to get their base of sweet puppies worked up about _les autres_ by havin’ Neocomrade Dr. R. H. Limbaugh--and many inferior rip-offs of the same ideoproduct--bark an’ bellow "They Hate Us Because We Are FREE!"

There has been much less of that, recently, so I betcha, sir, that the TopPercenters have decided that they are not quite so FREE as they were before noon on 20 January 2009. And so indeed they are not, although the difference is far from immense.

Small or large, the recent, and evidently unexpected, reduction in the True FREEdom of Uncle Scrooge and Daddy Warbucks undoubtedly does mean that Party an’ Ideology have lost control of the naming of our Uncle Sam’s naval vessels.[1]

[Q.] This is about as petty as petty chickenshit comes, is it not?

[A.] Yes, for civilized adults, but it is not, after all, civilized adults who scribble anonymously for _America’s Moonpaper_ .

Curators out at the Chickenshit Museum [http://tinyurl.com/po23mu] will be interested in the latest thrillin’ episodes [http://tinyurl.com/y3j9bhj] of the personnel wars amongst ChristoKorean expatriates at Washin’ton City.

If it would conciliate them and their sweet puppies any, I should gladly e-mail Secretary Mabus to recommend that he relabel the unfortunate ship (say) "the CKS Samuel Dealy."

Neocomrade S. Dealy has certain dual or triple loyalty problems, however, perhaps "the HIS Sam Dealy" would be quite as suitable a name, for neither the Hoovervillains nor the ChristoKoreans have any fleet to call their own. Not yet, anyway.

Big Sam has scads and scads and SCUDs and SCUDs of violence-pro gear to spare, as every nonwombschoolboy knows, so plainly there would be no harm, or not much, in gratifying this or that loyal band of Little Foreign Friends with mere nomenclature: "Shock an’ Awe may break my bones / But names can never hurt me." [I quote from memory.]

On the other hand, give the LFF an inch, and they may possibly want to grab an ell, therein emulatin’ the paymasters of the Party of Grant.

Were "Little Sam," Neocomrade S. Dealy of CK and Hoover, or his principals to obtain actual *control* of the USS ExMurtha, who can say for certain that he would not use it to sack the American Ideological Enterprise, or wreak bloody crusade upon the Rev. Neocomrade D. Virtue [2], or hurl himself violently upon almost any other sentimental / ‘ideological’ competitor with fixed assets located reasonably close to salt water?

One would not care to be responsible for such potential _sequellae_ of neoproliferation, now, would one, Dr. Bones?

Accordingly, I believe I shall draft a memo to SECNAV suggesting that little foreign friends of the holy Homeland™ be permitted to buy and decorate advertising space, in effect, on our warships, but no more than that. Like the buses of the MBTA, donch know? [http://tinyurl.com/y7eklc4] No redecoration below the belt! And, needless to say, no command-and-control whatsoever.

On the same basis, why not issue holy-Homelandic™ postage stamps bearing the likenesses of persons nominated by the LFF, as for example M. de Zhabotinsky, or Freiherr Freddy von Hayek, or ... or indeed, pretty well anybody the LFF would care to mention who was not actually _Reichskanzler_ in 1940.

Even His Lunation [http://tinyurl.com/y54xp39] itself.

After all, why not? As long as the proper fees -- as high as Mlle. de la Main Invisible will bear, of course -- are paid in advance. Plus renewals annually or semiannually, so that all the LFF get a fair shot at it.

A very traditional objector might at this juncture object that coins and other such paraphernalia of the Wicked State have always been used to propagandise on behalf of whomever or whatever appears iconographically or nominally in the ad space.

_Respondeo_: yes, indeed, but "that was then, and this is now." Furthermore, "History is bunk."

Even without the wombschoolin’ and _Niederdümmung_ so valiantly contributed by Party and AEIdeology, very few Homelanders™ will know or care what exotic neoproducts from _les autres_ are thus advertised. After a month at most, it will all be only so much white noise, so to speak.

Indeed, it is already so on a small scale: when was the last time, Dr. Bones, that you actually scrutinized the reverse of one of those sovereign-State quarter-dollar pieces? We live, sir, in an Epoch of Destructive ©®eationism (Pat. Pend.), and have ever since the venerable science of mammonology was reduced to cocktail-napkin format!

Another example of how we are already there yet affords Neocomrade Dr. A. B. Laffer, as it happens. If you, sir, pay the least bit of attention to names or addresses or images graven on napkins and ball-point pens and the like, you are one in a million.

***

From the technical direction of the violence profession, no objection arises at all. As long as each unit is named differently from all the others, it matters not at all what any of them are named. USS John P. Murtha, USS David W. Jones [3] , USS Runcible Spoon -- anybody who has strong druthers about which one of those it is to be only pronounces herself deeply unserious.

And I wish you, sir,
Healthy and affordable days.

___
[1] If the matter were not so nearly invisible to the naked eye, one might assimilate it to the recent Executivitarian™ innovations of Neocomrade Viceroy R. B. Cheney. Neocomradess Anonymous of the _Moonpaper_ should grasp that she is not goin’ to dictate to her POTUS about foreign and aggression policy any more successfully than the late Rep. Murtha could dictate to George XLIII.

And the moral of that is, "What goes around, comes around."


[2] http://tinyurl.com/5abt3x


[3] Note the happy, but entirely accidental convergence, with "Davy Jones’ locker."

First They Come For The Shysters

Heads up, Dr. Bones:

The Neosouth rises again!

Neocomrade P. Mirengoff, Esq., breaks virgin Astroturf™ for the legal profession!!

RULALAW marches forth like Juggernaut in the path of Party ’n’ AEIdeology!!!

Virginia Governor Robert McDonnell (...) is once again "in hot water" with "black leaders and civil rights groups." Why? Because he intends to require non-violent felons who seek a restoration of their voting rights to submit an essay outlining their contributions to society since their release. Under recent prior administrations, the restoration process was automatic. Whatever black leaders and civil rights group might think, McDonnell’s decision isn’t likely to hurt him politically. His plan reportedly calls on non-violent ex-felons to explain the circumstances of their arrest; their efforts to get a job, seek an education and participate in church and community activities; and why they believe their rights should be restored. I suspect that most Virginia voters don’t think this requirement asks too much of ex-felons seeking the right to vote. To the contrary, McDonnell’s approach reflects important values that Virginians likely share. It allows for redemption without de-valuing the concept.

Whatever a few residual Liberal Fascists (Pat. Pend.) and small-minded sticklers for procedure might think, the noblesse de la robe now divines "important values that Virginians likely share"! Who says there is no such thing as progressive, Dr. Bones? The Parteifreiherr von Mirenengoff has advanced so far ahead of us laggards that Seine Exzellenz is already well around the figurative bend and out of sight.

Let me be more exact, though, for we are in kangaroo-court territory here and must tread warily lest we irritate Lynch, Esq. and come to a premature termination: the Neukamerad Herr Gouverneur (R. McDonnell) does the divinin’ part and then the Neukamerad Herr Parteianwalt (P. Mirengoff) explains why it is perfectly O.K. juridically that Massa Bob should divine.[1] That is the logical sequence. The chronological sequence is the reverse: first the shyster gives a green light for wizardry in general, and only then do particular tricks start happenin’. And Tribonianus knows best.

In a sense this is where we came in, sir, if by ‘we’ one means the Muses and you and the late Jeremy Bentham. Massa Bob is to have unfettered discretion, just like Lord Eldon. Cuffee gets to vote again if -- and ONLY if -- he manages to warm the heart of Massa Bob. Plus resonate with the Famous Values of Virginia™, I hasten to add. Unfortunately the hasty addition is worth not much, since Cuffee is bound to have even less of an inklin’ that you and I do exactly what the ever-immortal FVV entail. The chances that Cuffee is a close student of Power Line are zero.

Even if he were, there is the lesser obstacle that (as far as I know) the Freiherr Parteianwalt von Mirengoff and his two ideosidekicks are none of them Virginians. Neither neoscalawags nor even neocarpetbaggers are they, only eloquent mouthpieces for Astroturf™baggery, and ’turf’baggery is nothin’ to the immediate point. Cuffee might start resonating with DCNV, Dartmouth College Neovalues, and thus -- who knows? -- accidentally sound to Massa Bob like chalk squeakin’ on a blackboard.

On a colorblindboard, I meant to say:

In 2000 blacks represented 20 percent of Virginia’s total population, but 66 percent of those incarcerated in Virginia DOC facilities or local jails. Black men alone accounted for 62 percent of Virginia’s incarcerated population.

New Dartmouth notwithstandin’, I betcha the Starkstromlinie neogents see eye-to-eye with Massa Bob when it comes to foreign agitators sneakin’ into Ol’ Virginny to disseminate political pornography. Such obscene percentages are simply invisible to the colorblind of heart.

Why, only politically correct swine would even dream of lookin’ at such filth! To what is the world comin’, Dr. Bones? Could it be Harpers Ferry II, do you think, whither we so perilously tend? [2]

Meanwhile, it is pleasant to reflect what shrieks ’n’ moans ’n’ barks ’n’ bellows would be emanatin’ from the direction of Rio Limbaugh, if President Summers and Mr. O’Bama

were ever to have the bad taste to appear to be "allow[ing] for redemption without [devaluing] the concept."

Healthy days.

__
[1] Paddy asks me to tell you he’s happy to see a Pselt in the driver’s seat for a change and the arrogant Hun reduced to lookin’ up or makin’ up precedents for his betters. Quite a change from the customary pattern is that:

In September 1945, as the movie opens, Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) and consigliere Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) hear requests for favors during the Don’s daughter Connie’s wedding reception.

Myself, though, I think one should think deep-historically and make proper allowances and adjustments for Old Dominion local colour. There will have been plenty of "Scots-Irish" plantation owners back in the good ol’ days -- not just overseers, but actual Owners of lands. And owners of Cuffees as well, naturally.


[2] I rather doubt it. As long as (1) Foxcuckooland remains free of inflammatory matter, and (2) most of Neovirginia does not pedantically distinguish Foxcuckooland from the former so-called "real world," Massa Bob and the Starkstromlinie señoritos are safe enough. That is to say, Neocomrade R. Murdoch, Lord Foxcuckoo, has become the Bulwark of Western Sieve. That is essentially what Neocomrade D. Frum injudiciously said out loud the other day and got himself excommunicated from the Kiddie Selfservative Movement. Frum remains an insufferable neojerk, but even neojerks are not always wrong.

Ah, Dr. Bones! The Radiant Effulgence of _les belles-lettres qannádîennes_ hath ascended to resplend upon our palæosabbath!

’Tis sort of like "Mr. Eliot’s Sunday Morning" [0] today, doncha know? Except for the palaeoreligionistical connexion, of course, and the neobile ’n’ venom, and the fact that instead of that mundane hippopotamus [1], the R. E. of Qan. Lit. comes offerin’ everybody a swell deal on some used camel jokes.

The camel’s nose is in thy tent
Qannádâ!
Free speech is gagged and straightness bent!
Qannádâ!
Avenge the heckler patriots
Who die the death of endless cuts,
Before the window of opportunity shuts,
Qannádâ! Dave’s Qannádâ!

"Just kidding, Señor Torquemada: I was never more than in B’rons’vîq Hadasht [2] once for about half an hour. Qannádâ is "all your misfortune, and none of my own," sir. Whereas Neocomrade Ann, Baronness Coulter in the peerage of Wingnut City, well, . . .

" .. How about this, Your Churchship? Qannádâ the Qurst lets Her Ladyship out of the dungeon in exchange for Neocomrade D. Frum and a future draft pick? Or howa about Neocomrade D. Frum plus Neocomrade J. Kuhner and two draft picks? (...)

"Your Churchship has never heard of Neocomrade J. Kuhner?! Well, the pet google can fix that up pronto:

’Jeffrey T. Kuhner is a radio host in Washington DC on WTNT, a columnist and writer. He is a regular contributor to the commentary pages of [_America’s Moonpaper_] , where he writes a weekly column, and has written for _Human Events_, National Review Online and _Investor’s Business Daily_. He is also the president of the Edmund Burke Institute for American Renewal, a Washington D.C. think tank devoted to integrating minorities into the conservative movement. The Institute produces a monthly magazine, _Reflections_, to which he regularly contributes. He is also a radio personality, appearing often as a guest or fill-in host of the "Savage Nation" and the Jerry Doyle show.
’Kuhner was BORN IN MONTREAL . . . ."

*** ... and now, enough of that! ... ***

The Muses and you and I are safe enough from the iron talons of the Qannádî Inquisition[4] , I guess, Dr. Bones, for me to ask out loud how it is that neoscum, like the Kuhners and the Frums and the Davey Brookses and the _Freidamen_ R. von Wisse [4] , regularly drifts downwards from them to US, whereas it is almost a proverb that ordinary scum RISES?

No rule without a probative exception! The (hopefully) one and only Neocomrade Dr. M. A. Weinstein-Savage was NOT born at Montreal, only in the Bronx [5]. That fact probably helps explain why the hoity-toity neogentry from Castle Podhóretz up the slippery slope over there to your starboard, Dr. Bones, keep poor "Michael Savage" at arm’s length and more.

Which brings us back to the Radiant Effulgence of Qan. Lit., in the sense that Neocomrade D. Solway is not quite so hoity-toity as he might be, gallantly risin’ to the defense of a (_dhimmiyya_!) neothuggess in distress. Crown Prince Johnny and Princess Neoterica have degenerated sadly from what thei elders were back in the palmy days of the Hate-’68 Movement™, but not yet to the point of makin’ used camel jokes and Danish cartoonin’ the crux of Hyperzionistical agitprop. Ann, Baron Coulteress, is bound to seem at least a little distressin’ to really refined and hereditary neocomrades.

Be that as it may, the Radiant Effulgence of Qan. Lit., hereinafter REQL, lays considerable rhetorical stress on a dichotomy of camels and aeroplanes. Unfortunately, it does not get the maximum mileage out of either, if the present keyboard be the judge. The camel I shall abandon to neo-Levantine hands, and that is itself rather my point: the REQL certainly should have pointed out that the fiendish Natives completely failed to invent heavier-than-air aviation, despite all the silly guff their apologists talk about Islamic ‘science’. [6]

The aeroplane, in fact, was invented right here in Qannádâ -- North Carolina bein’ close enough to Québec City for government work. And though that claim might be quibbled against, surely nobody who has been marketeered into buyin’ any release of the Western Sieve (®) neoproduct whatsoever can suppose Terror From On High to have been invented anywhere else than in The Grand and Glorious West. Natives, even the non-fiendish ones, simply are not up to that sort of trick any more. If, indeed, they ever were. Everybody around here knows that, does she not?

I guess the REQL will accuse me of "blaming the victim" when I point out that the Big Bang of 23 Jumádae l-’Awwal 1422 could never have happend, had the Wright stuff never come to pass. On the other hand, even the most militant and extremist of self-crazed neoterics can scarcely deny the factual substance of ny victim-blaming. (Can she?) No Orville and Wilbur would have meant no Guernika, no Rotterdam, no Hamburg, no Dresdan, no Tokyo, no Hiroshima; not even a tiny little Belgrade during Secretary Albright’s War! And, in the fullness of parallel time, it would have no "9/11" either.

This is what anybody outside the Rovan Empire [7] or some less select loony bin would call a "just a fact," no?

The REQL and its ideobuddies can have their "Our Western Civilisation," as far as I am concerned, the intellectual history of Old Europe being more than enough for the present _dhimmí_ to be getting on with. Nevertheless, the self-servicin’ flim-flam that the neocomrades like to package that way--and even the Huntin’tonian Clashism (®) neoproduct, to some extent--are not without all basis in the former Real World. The Natives of the world have indeed borrowed a long, long list of miscellaneous appliances from Greater Europe, even though it a joke both tasteless and witless to call any such inventory ‘Civilisation’ or even "a civilisation."

Quite a number of items on that laundry list of appliances could be classified as DIRTY laundry.

Or, since the REQL presents itself as a literary neo-gent, "poet and essayist ... [and] author," let us shake our own tiny Eng. Lit. spear a little and call the dirty appliances ‘petards’ -- _i.e._, appliances capable of being deployed against Wunnerful US from whom they have been borrowed. Most likely without proper royalty payments, too, though that is rather a different neogrievance.

So then, Dr. Bones, when Party Neocomrades Rosencrantz and Guildenstern get their comeuppance in the old play, may one not describe them as "blameworthy victims" or the like without gross inaccuracy?

If perchance I got that one wrong, perhaps you could explain whether it is wrong (A) because R&G are not to be called ‘victims’, or (B) because there is no issue of ‘blame’ involved, strictly speaking, or (C) for some other reason?

And I remain, sir,
Yours for the Advancement of Qan. Lit.

__
[0] Should be "Mr. Eliot’s Sunday Morning SERVICE," for Massa Tom ’10 was a High Anglican even before he perverted to Christojudaeanity from H*rv*rd Buddhism. See http://www.bartleby.com/199/23.html. (( Notice that after June there might be a problem about which ’10 it was, in the case of less notorious persons. ))


[1] You promised me, Dr. Bones, that you would ask Dr. Liddle and Capt. Scott why the poor unpoetic beast was not christened a _*potamippus_, as all analogy clearly demands that it should have been, Hippopotamus, "Horse River," being obviously the site of one those sea battles--_nautomachiai_, not *_machonautiai_!--that fall somewhere around the end of Thucydides and beginning of Xenophon.

Did you ever get an answer about it?


[2] http://www.canada-photos.com/data/media/10/new-brunswick-lighthouse_2321.jpg


[3] What do you suppose the neo-S*m*te for ‘inquistion’ is, Dr. Bones? After all, the father of _M. le président du conseil des ministres israëliennes B. de Nétanyahou_ has written on the Spanish version at length, http://tinyurl.com/yku7cz3 , and I should think his (the Daddy’s) chauvinism would forbid publication in Greater Texan alone, despite it bein’ scarcely a tract fit to edify the masses of Hyperzion.

For Modern Written Palestinian, Doniach gives [604a] _maHákimu t-taftysh al-’isbániyya_, which suggests that the late M. de Ben Yéhouda [http://tinyurl.com/ykekt8v] will have neoconcocted himself somethin’ like maybe _*pittûsh_.

But Father Zeus knows best, sir, and especially when I can’t lay my hand on that cheap paperback bilingual dictionary. (The neo-S*m*te wikipedia just transliterates our _dhimmí_ word: http://tinyurl.com/yk24yam .)


[4] http://tinyurl.com/232rwb . And further http://tinyurl.com/yfrw8jl : "Wisse is ORIGINALLY FROM MONTREAL, Canada and earned her PhD from McGill University in 1969...."

(( Somebody should advise the learnèd wikipædiatricians that "Montreal, Canada" sounds dreadfully tacky and provincial and parochial, especially when the danger of anybody this side of Rio Limbaugh FL thinkin’ first of Montreal, Pennsylvania, is negligible. ))


[5] http://tinyurl.com/yl35ldr


[6] Like "Dr. Saliba demonstrated through examples that this spirit of innovation and liberation from Greek sources was not only confined to the field of astronomy. He described that implementing Islam’s laws of inheritance requires complicated computations and these computations necessitated the development of new arithmetic tools and eventually the new discipline of algebra by Al-Khwarizmi. As a result a new discipline, _ilm-al-faraid_ (the science of inheritance) came into being, once again thanks to Islam’s unique juridical requirements. The concept of the decimal fraction was introduced, toppling the cumbersome use of Greek numerals. Dr. Saliba also showed several Latin manuscripts produced in the Middle ages that in fact wrote numerals from right to left (in keeping with the Arabic tradition) while the remainder of the text was in the usual direction from left to right. Ibn-al-Haitham (d: 1039) overthrew the old Greek model explaining how the eye sees and conjectured a model of vision that we still use today. Abu Bakr al-Razi (Latin Rhazes d: 925) had the intellectual courage of challenging the Greek master Galen and describing the clinical differences between smallpox and measles. These examples served to demonstrate that science in the Islamic world was far from being a preservation exercise, rather we glean that the incoming Greek sciences were approached with utmost criticism, were comprehensively attacked and most of the sciences, especially astronomy, were established on new footings." [http://www.khwarzimic.org/islam/report_saliba.htm]


[7] ’’That is not the way the world really works anymore. WE are an Empire now, and when WE act, WE create OUR OWN reality. And while you’re studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- WE will act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. WE are history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what WE do.’’

[ http://tinyurl.com/533kj ] (( It can NEVER be quoted too often, that gem! ))

The Cleric, the Brat and the Turfbags

Any wingnutette or wingnut who actually knows about the Frankfurt School must be taken seriously, Dr. Bones. But please remember that seriousliness comes in a variety of paradigms or models, of which that of Grand Ayatollah Michael Bin Ledeen is one of the neo-tackier. [1]

For instance, it occurs to me that Señorito de Brooks y Podhóretz itself could probably spot a horkheimer at fifteen yards or so, especially in bright sunlight with the winds of neonuttiness behind it.[2] Neither Big Mikey nor little Davey is a real heavy-hitter for the Rio Limbaugh Mensas, I fear. Neither is an instance of le formidabilité from sheer weight of pedantry, I mean, as even a sub-par-lookin’ Leostraussian must prudently be assumed to be until the contrary has been established beyond cavil.

Alio modo: the Muses and you (and even the present keyboard, maybe) are not likely to learn anything from such specimens beyond that of which they are neospecimens, namely P&I, Party ’n’ Ideology--of neoterror simply as such. By contrast, when we steel ourselves to endure the over-all and systematic self-dingalingism of Neocomrade Mr. H. Mansfield of H*rv*rd, there is a reasonable chance of picking up a few pearls of general knowledge. [3]

Whether the Very Rev. Neocomrade M. Ledeen properly understands the Port Huron manifesto is a question I cannot get interested in. Whether Don Davidito misunderstands it is even tediouser. (Not even to speak of how old the American Ideological Enterprise, LLC, will be on its next birthday!) If we forget about all such bologna, what’s left for Ayatollah Tweedledee and Master Tweedledumb to be quarrelin’ over? The true nature and probable destiny of the Astroturfbagger Movement, presumably.[4]

Not an unpromising topic, were any competent discussants available. But these two neocomrades are not exalted above the P&I gutter high enough make an adequate survey. His Eminence thinks astroturfbaggery is swell, Señorito de B. y P. is not so sure. A decent political adult might award the rattle to Tweedledumb (little Davey) on that basis alone, but he who strives to be an informed practitioner of neocomradology will demand at least a few additional data points. Since Big Mike is not gonna to help make little Davey’s case for it, I guess we must go re-read what it said for itself:

The New Left then, like the Tea Partiers now, had a legitimate point about the failure of the ruling class. But they ruined it through their own imprudence, self-righteousness and naïve radicalism. The Tea Partiers will not take over the G.O.P., but it seems as though the ’60s political style will always be with us — first on the left, now the right.

(Don Davidito’s bottom line, THAT is.)

The señorito is more hostile to its own P&I neocomrades than I remembered, which may be grounds for subtraction of a few Prudence Points from its score rather than from the turfbaggers’. Plus subtract a few Coherence Points also, Dr. Bones, insofar as DBP leaves the customer wonderin’ how, if this Menckenoid "conspiracy of kittens" never does manage to topple the Washington Monument, as it says it does not expect that they will, anybody will be able to tell they were imprudent.

Or, at any rate, why anybody sane would care. Who now worries about the prudence or imprudence of Neocomrade Zillionaire H. R. Perot’s dupes and marks? Submersi sunt quasi plumbum in aquis vehementibus, don’t you know? And a good riddance, too.

At this point, sir, I believe we may award the rattle to Master Tweedledumb with some confidence, even without working through the alleged self-righteousness and naïvety and radicalism. Grand Ayatollah bin Ledeen deserves to lose on formal and procedural grounds, it seems to me, insofar as he simply does not respond to any of the points in the señoritoly indictment.

Does the Rev. think Astroturfbaggery will take over the Party of Hoover and Atwater? Does the Rev. consider that the turfbags are in fact prudent and humble and sophisticated and moderate? Maybe he does, maybe he does not, maybe he thinks some of that but not the rest -- there is no way to tell.

The only point quite unmistakable is that the Rev. Bin Ledeen approves of the turfbags and wants to suck up to them. But that is of no interest to anybody but future biographers of His Eminence, should there be any such. The neocomradologist can make nothing of that without knowing WHY he approves of the turfbags. It is, in the abstract, as likely that the Rev. likes his kitten conspirators for their imprudence as for their prudence, for their arrogance rather than their Uriah Heep shtyk, and so on down the Brooksian list. And the abstract is exactly where we stand with this guy.

For that matter, His Eminence may even want to suck up to the turfbags *without* likin’ ’em, for, if that were his case, Dr. Bones, what better plan for the Rev. than to talk about the hatefulness of old enemies of the Hate-’68 Movement™ rather than reflect upon the character of present company?

"If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all" is never quite the whole megillâ, Dr. Bones: there is always the flowers that bloom in the spring, should all else fail.

So then:

BROOKS 42, BIN LEDEEN 15

And I wish you, sir,
Healthy days.

______
[1] Like all the present keyboard’s pronouncements, whether expressly posted or not, that one is strictly me judice and entre nous and comes with a nothing-back warranty for the first thirty hours, concepts and workmanship excluded.


[2] Davey Boy’s homebrew Geisteswissenschaft product has, I suspect, been strained carefully to make sure that Frankfurtisms, call ’em, do not turn up unexpectedly in the customer’s soup. The sort of customer for whom Davey scribbles--one thinks of her, Dr. Bones, as a Starbucks Gal™ sipping a lactem over to the Cambridgeside Galleria in Zipcode 02140, or the Beaconhillside outlet would do [2.1]--does not care to be outshone by her servitors, as she plainly would be if she essayed to holler "Waiter, there’s an adorno in my soup!" but could not pull it off for lack of nerdish technical vocabulary.

That Don Davidito spares such a fine lassie’s finer feelings certainly does not mean that it does not itself have a tolerably adequate notion of St. Theodor. [2.02]


[2.01] By golly, sir, there she blows! At http://tinyurl.com/yk77zdh (in Transcaroliana, dial http://tinyurl.com/yhnqjvu )

[2.02] http://tinyurl.com/2p85a4 (( Wiesengrund?! ))


[3] Only "a reasonable chance," however. The Leonine guru’s latest performance in the path of weekly standardisation is of better quality than anything comparable on offer here in Padschamastán, but then, beatin’ out poor old Neocomrade Rear-Colonel V. D. H. Blimp is no great feat. Being a card-carryin’ Mister of H*rv*rd, though, Neocomrade H. Mansfield may be deliberately dumbin’ himself down to suit his target market. That is, he may be doin’ on this one occasion the same trick that I take Don Davidito to be perpetually engaged in. Father Zeus knows best.

All Presidential Politics is Local

How about a quotation from almost my favourite scribbler in all the world, Dr. Bones?

Eight hundred words is only eight hundred words, so naturally Master Ross [Douthat] had to leave somethin’ out. Probably a whole gaggle of not insignificant somethin’s.

The barkless dog this Democrat noticed most is that it did not cross the mind of the publicist to wonder whether the success --let us stipulate the success--of Neocomrade Governor M. E. Daniels, Jr., in Indiana might have to do with the peculiarities of Indiana as well as of the Party hero himself.

In the United Kingdom there was once a rightist-to-reactionary politician of whom it was said, after he was established as Prime Minister, that he made "a good lord mayor of Birmingham in a lean year." And every schoolboy remembers Dr. Harvey's little zinger about Francis Bacon, Lord Verulam, who "wrote philosophy well for a Lord Chancellor." I.e., a candidate's C.V. ought to jibe with the real-world requirements of the position that she seeks in deed, and not in word alone.

Whether any of our G.O.P. geniuses consciously reflect that "After all, the USA is only Indiana writ large," I have no idea. It would account for a couple of strikin’ characteristics of that neocrew, however, to attribute some such notion to them.[*] And they could act like that even without ever consciously thinkin’ ’bout it.

Healthy days.

___
[*] As a perfunctory gesture at the so-called ‘bipartisanship’: it goes quite a long analytical distance towards explaining the unhappinesses of Mr. Clinton's administration, I’d say, that Arkansas does not "look like America" much more than Indiana does. (Of Alaska, we need not speak!)

---

Play that again, Sam, only the other way, please.

---

Eight hundred words is only eight hundred words, so naturally Master Ross [Douthat] had to leave somethin’ out. Probably a whole gaggle of not insignificant somethin’s. The barkless dog this Democrat noticed most is that it did not cross the mind of the publicist to wonder whether the success --let us stipulate the success--of Neocomrade Governor M. E. Daniels, Jr., in Indiana might have to do with the peculiarities of Indiana as well as of the Party hero himself. In the United Kingdom there was once a rightist-to-reactionary politician of whom it was said, after he was established as Prime Minister, that he made "a good lord mayor of Birmingham in a lean year." And every schoolboy remembers Dr. Harvey's little zinger about Francis Bacon, Lord Verulam, who "wrote philosophy well for a Lord Chancellor." I.e., a candidate's C.V. ought to jibe with the real-world requirements of the position that she seeks in deed, and not in word alone. Whether any of our G.O.P. geniuses consciously reflect that "After all, the USA is only Indiana writ large," I have no idea. It would account for a couple of strikin’ characteristics of that neocrew, however, to attribute some such notion to them.[*] And they could act like that even without ever consciously thinkin’ ’bout it. Healthy days. ___ [*] As a perfunctory gesture at the so-called ‘bipartisanship’: it goes quite a long analytical distance towards explaining the unhappinesses of Mr. Clinton's administration, I’d say, that Arkansas does not "look like America" much more than Indiana does. (Of Alaska, we need not speak!)

HTML being far more interesting and important than anythin’ whatever scribbled in the Party Chinese of Señorito Douthát y Podhóretz, I think the big issue here is whether to fix up the template so BLOCKQUOTE does not imply double spacing and everything in italics, or just forget about it altogether. The drawback of the latter plan is that when not chez soi, BLOCKQUOTE is all that exists: I have yet to find anybody else's peanut gallery where the TABLE\TD gizmo works intelligibly, let alone right. What do thee think, sir?

Happy days.

---

Let's Play Debate!

A wingnutette has wingnuttized

If this is what is called "debate" in the Obama world. Well next thing you will see is Charlie Rangel will be chairman of the ethics committee. Yes, this is the Obama world.

What do you think, Dr. Bones? Can you imagine that some GOP genius or konservative kiddie actually say yesterday’s human (?) event was supposed to be a ‘debate’?

I mean, did any of ’em say that BEFORE it happened?

Here in darkest Pickupstán [1] , Neocomrade Coach H. Carr and his ratfinkpack naturally take the line after the fact that the visitin’ team, that of Rio Limbaugh--and of themselves, oddly enough--won handily, so probably by this afternoon we shall be hearing that poor President Summers and Mr. O’Bama lost a vote of confidence and have till the Ides of March to resign or be ass... or be expungated with extreme prejudice. [2]

But no, I beg your pardon, sir: the kiddies in question cannot possibly think of Debate as a serious and hollerworthy high-school sport comparable to (Yank style) Football. Debate is not much better than soccer, kiddiesportswise, and everybody knows how unheimatländisch soccer is. Possibly the Kenyan Candidate™ never actually starred as a "deep-lying forward" [3] for Marxchester United, but that sort of oversight only adds redundantly to the evidence that Neocomrade G. Norquist could big-manage the affairs of gods and men far better than Father Zeus does.

Neocomradess Poster, doubtless a redstate-blooded antisoccer mom despite her curious Hawai’iöid Jane Hancock, does not make quite clear whether she herself thinks it was a ‘debate’. She does not spell out what she is whimperin’ ’bout at all, actually, though I betcha it has at least partially to do with the way the K.C. hogged a grossly disproportionate amount of the air time. [4]

The present keyboard finds it impossible to empathise very deeply with the sweet puppies of Endarkenment merely because of the clock-hogging. Wombscholars who did not cut the sixth lecture of "Chicagonomics for Dummies 101" will have been taught that "the House" ALWAYS comes out ahead at that type of game.[5][6]

Prescinding from empathy, the Wingnut City high command is in an interesting position at the moment, their obvious tactic bein’ to persuade Televisionland and the electorate that the ‘rules’ of Debate are indeed the same as those of Hearts, that the Kenyan Candidate™ and Team Pelosi lose because the KC hogged.

The fun part here is that almost all the everyday sentimentality / ‘ideology’ of the neocomrades has it that hoggin’ is good. Mr. Obama and President Summers and "the Democrat Party" are--mirabile dictu and just this once--to be DISapproved of for refusing to impersonate Mr. Nice Guy!

Perhaps, Dr. Bones, we should ask the Yorktown (VA) High School Band to play us that little ditty from the days of General Lord Cornwallis, The World Turned Upside Down?

Healthy days.

____
[1] http://tinyurl.com/ykcdm9h Ense petit placidam sub libertotalitaritate inquidimentum, "By the sword she (the late Miss Rand of St. Petersburg, presumably, or conceivably the late Mr. Nozick of H*rv*rd) seeks Planet Dilbert!"

For Coach Carr, http://tinyurl.com/yflnslx . If he had had his druthers, Dr. Bones, surely Master Howie woulda hit some crimmigrant wetback rather than a (probably) rightist-minded Pole. On the other hand, czy ja wiem?


[2] If that was not the OOI, Obvious Original Intent (Pat. Pend.), of Mr. Madison and the Gang of ’87, sir, I hope you will tell me what was.


[3] Now there is a trouvée for you, Dr. Bones, if ever there was one! ¡Que lástima that not one wingnutette or wingnut in a thousand knows any more about Britsport than the Muses and you and I!

The learnèd wikipædiatricians mention at URL cit. that the élitist effeminacy involves a player called a "Libero." That, however, seems to be only the Italian word for what Airstrip One knows as a "Sweeper." If the kiddie selfservative movement tarted that up a bit into, say, "sweeper under the rug" on the pattern of "catcher in the rye," I guess they could use it to bash Cook County’s and the H*rv*rd Law Review’s Finest with.

Nevertheless, it provides not one-tenth the polemical bang for a buck of "deep lying forward."


[4] At half time, Neocomrade Dr. Limbaugh scored the event (I quote from memory) as follows: sixty-eight (68) minutes for the Kenyan Candidate™, sixty (60) minutes for "the Democrat Party," and fifty-six (56) minutes for the ever-lustrous Daughters of Virtue and Sons of Wisdom LLC. (Alternatively, Wingnut City 56, America’s party 128.)

So MacLuhanesque a proceeding is not really amenable to being evaluated by the standards of Sabbath-afternoon secondary-school football as practiced in Greater Texas, but you must admit, Dr. Bones, that Dr. Limbaugh does manage to achieve quantification. The guru of EIB and his chela, Neocomradess Poster of TPMC, take for granted, I daresay, that ‘debate’ is scored like Hearts: the lowest score (in minutes) wins.


[5] That is a tad too positive, because I do not know the curriculum of Wombschool Normal University and St. Dilbert Antistate College at first hand. Nevertheless, inasmuch as the mission of these institutions is to prepare neokiddies to take part in what Party ’n’ Ideology used to call an "investment society" (back before the Crawford Crash), the indoctrinators and invigilators would simply not be earnin’ their paychecks if they failed to explain the micromammonology of organised neospeculation, vulgarly called gamblin’. The more so in that the Daughters of Virtue and Sons of Wisdom LLC have nowadays a distinct tendency to take runnin’ a casino as the very model of modern Big Management.

And this is a very appropriate model for the DVSW to select, Dr. Bones, for is not a guaranteed revenue stream for "The House" the obvious next stage of Citizen Rush’s ‘societal evolution’ after the limited-liability corporation itself? Cuttin’ one’s losses is all very well in its place, but what properly incentivised (‘incentivated’?) Hoovervillain would not much prefer to be thinkin’ positive and guaranteein’ his gains? "Boost, don’t knock!"

Doubtless the selfservative kiddies cannot ALL get neorich by takin’ in one another’s bettin’ slips any more than they could in the old joke by takin’ in one another’s laundry, but unless a great many of them can, Chicagonomics may turn out to be less than was offered in the famous cocktail-napkin prospectus. The Muses and you and I assume that it’s a scam, of course, Dr. Bones, and the kiddies’ own paymasters and astroturfers can only be said to believe in it with a great deal of mentalis restrictio . But these discouragin’ points of view cannot be common in the Faculty Clubs at W.N.U. and St. Dilbert.

TPM on Kramer on Heinsohn on Gaza and Goodness

Look on the bright side: ... another great example of Zionist morality.

I don't suppose the jesting pilot seriously means to fly that flight, but in fact he could do worse.

Neocomrade[ss] AJM cannot stand very high in the councils of Team Jabotinsky, but [s]he is far from isolated in her willin'ness to give others free instruction for nothin' about what the word ‘moral’ means. Free, gratis and for nothin' -- unsolicited, too.

But alas, charity is waxen cold here in the former Christojudæandom, none helpeth the scholar nor yet the poor -- or anyway, not many help. Nowadays even gift horses are supposed to be inspected by veterinary personnel at international border crossings.

To be sure, we are only e-café lizards, not credentialised Invigilators of Morality; our powers are limited. We have no business demanding that Neocomradess AJM unpack her moral baggage on the runway, and less than no business demanding that she unpack Neocomrade Dr. M. S. Kramer's moral baggage. But we can do a little amateur sleuthing from the outside.

For one thing, we poor scholars and/or nosy Parkers can see a glance that the baggage of AJM is one thing, and the baggage of MSK another. SHE says "There is no moral obligation on anyone to fund an abnormally high rate of population increase," but I believe, Dr. Bones, if you will go back through the URL's put in evidence, you will not find that HE says that. Perhaps Neocomrade M. S. Kramer could be induced to admit it if we could get get him in a back room for a little neotherapy with waterboard or Yoo Tube(®), but that sort of official inquiry must remain off-limits for the likes of us. [1]

The H*rv*rd affiliate does not appear to mention morality, and that is as one would expect, I suppose, of that affiliation. "Just the facts, ma'am!" barked the Man From MESH .[2]

Speaking of ‘facts’, I just noticed that our Meshshie admits to havin' got one of them pesky critters slightly wrong:

There is also one error in my popularized recycling of his thesis. Heinsohn’s [3] rule of thumb is that when 30 percent or more of the total male population is between 15-29 (fighting age), violence ensues. In my talk, I added that I would put it higher, at 40 percent. But that 40 percent should be of the total adult male population (15-64). I doubt that in any of the countries of the region, the 15-29 range accounts for 40 percent of total male population. Heinsohn is right.

It looks as if it would be a delight to digress over to Planet Heinsohn for some light relief, Dr. Bones. It would confirm our darkest and most unworthy suspicions of Social Scientism to catch one of the practitioners saying expressly that percentages can start wars. Why, even Ibn Khaldún and Mr. Talcott Parsons, in all their glory, never quite went that far!

But we had better just make a memorandumb of Herr von Heinsohn and stick with Neocomrade Dr. M. S. Kramer for the moment. What use Marty the Less [4] makes of his chosen guru is not off topic, however, so ... lemme see ...

Gaza’s population will double by 2030, to three million. Israel’s present sanctions on Gaza have a political aim—undermine the Hamas regime—but if they also break Gaza’s runaway population growth—and there is some evidence that they have—that might begin to crack the culture of martyrdom which demands a constant supply of superfluous young men. That is rising to the real challenge of radical indoctrination, and treating it at its root.

That seems to be the heart of Kramerite neodarkness, but the wordin’ is a bit odd. Marty seems (to me, anyway) to expect that Team Jabotinsky is eventually goin’ to stumble their way to perpetual Success and Victory without ever fully appreciatin' the policy beauties of Heinsohnismus. He does not, technically speaking, even recommend that the pols and violence pros of the Tel Avîv government should wise up and start heinsohnisin’ and heinsohnatin' on purpose. Somebody should ask him, it seems to me, for a fuller exposition of the correlation of farces. In particular, does Neocomrade Dr. M. S. Kramer think that his crew can win in the end even if they never do give up relyin' on some flair or subliminal instinct or dumb luck or whatever it has been so far, and conciously adopt some H*rv*rd-worthy scheme of Middle East Strategy instead.

As long as the High Command of Hyperzion keeps on stumblin' instead of strategisin', I am not sure that they and their Dr. Kramer have any moral baggage to examine at all. One could speak of ‘negligence’, perhaps, but even that is rather a legal category than an ethical one.

But the same observation does not apply to Neocomradess AMS, who was tryin’ to give us dhimmís free moral guidance. How she talks to her superiors inside the Movement we have simply no way of telling. Like Master Marty vis-à-vis "[t] he usual suspects, Philip Weiss and M.J. Rosenberg," we are in the dock and she is Mme. Prosecutor. My whole figure of rhetoric will seem impertinent and ridiculous to Neocomradess AMS, for it is she who is to do the examination of our moral baggage. Quelle idée that the situation should ever be misconceived au contraire!

How much of that stance she shares with Neocomrade Dr. M. S. Kramer is not perfectly clear, though I suspect the overlap is not very great. Little Marty does not expressly denounce ‘us’ in so many words any more than he explicitly advises the T. A. statespersons and generals. [5] It would be slightly inconsistent if he did, for if Team Jabotinsky is only heinsohnisin’ subconsciously, it seems very likely a priori that the Parliament of Man and its UNRWA will have been ‘antiheinsohnizing' subconsciously as well. [6] But Father Zeus knows best.

Healthy days

__
[1] This is not altogether a misfortune: rumor has it, rather plausibly, that waterboardin' corrupts, and YooTubin' corrupts yooni... well, but ’tis not a very nice subject. Better I should say no more.


[2] MESH appears to be in remission at the moment: cf. http://tinyurl.com/3vdwn2 .


[3] I trust the good folks over at DossierWatch™ are keeping "dragon watch with unenchanted eye" on Neukamerad Herr Prof. Dr. G[unnar von] Heinsohn. Myself, I cannot tell 100% for sure whether or not Neocomrade M. S. Kramer appeals to the the authority of the same dignitary of whom I find the learnèd wikipædiatricians treating in the German language.

One definitely did not expect Master Marty to be found sittin' at the feet of a neorabbi who has a whole section of his e-blurb headed Antisemitism , even if only in an inferior (Greater Texan language) version of the article.

Seit 1993 ist er Sprecher des von ihm gegründeten und so benannten Instituts für vergleichende Völkermordforschung (Raphael-Lemkin-Institut für Xenophobie- und Genozidforschung).

does seem to nail it down, though: there could hardly be two independent instances of THAT whoppin’ monnicker, after all!


[4] Neocomrade M. H. Peretz, proprietor of The New Republican and [co-]donor of a Yid. Lit. chair to H*rv*rd must take precedence, obviously.


[5] Dr. Kramer can do the "Just the facts, ma'am!" shtyk well when he puts his mind to it. At some point after I started the present scribble, he appended a detailed account of his relationship to H*rv*rd that nobody could improve on:

Overnight addendum: I’m amused by my sudden overnight promotion to Harvard preeminence (by bloggers—why not?), but I have to disappoint. I’m not a “Harvard prof” (Rosenberg) or a “distinguished Harvard professor” (Richard Silverstein). My own homepage records that I’m presently a visiting scholar at Harvard’s Weatherhead Center (in the National Security Studies Program). The purpose of visitorships is to facilitate joint research between Weatherhead faculty and non-Harvard colleagues; a visiting scholar must hold a regular academic appointment somewhere else. I enjoy my Harvard research and library privileges. But I’ve never taught at Harvard, I’m not there now, and I don’t use the Harvard affiliation as an identifier on this Sandbox blog. For that, I rely solely on my permanent affiliations. So my rapid promotion at Harvard is really just a stunt by demagogues to attract attention, and the wild exaggeration is of a piece with all they produce. (Still, it was flattering…)

His account of other folks’ supposed stunting is not so good, of course.

You should bear in mind, Dr. Bones, that on his DossierWatch side, so to call it, Marty the Less is committed to H*rv*rd (proper) bein’ a nest of appeasement-minded dhimmís and self-hating Hebrew Christojudæans, plus the occasional genuine specimen of icky THEM. (In fact, H*rv*rd is remarkably short on that last ingredient: nobody in Zipcode 02138 has half the stature of a fiend like Prof. Rashíd Khálidí at Columbia.)

Hence if he were to deliberately twistify, MSK would try to make out that the Weatherhead Center is no closer to True Veritas than http://harvardrotcalumnifund.org/ is. Mr. Rosenberg should probably content himself with bashing Neocomrade Prof. Dr. A. M. Dershowitz of H*rv*rd Law School when overtaken by a sudden fit of crimsonophobia. Or Mr. Peretz, naturally, who really did used to be a bicycle-challenged perfesser once upon a time.


[6] What with that antisemitism wikibusiness, Dr. Bones, I am at a loss to decide which way the verb "to (anti)heinsohnize" ought be construed, whether it should mean to aid and abet the breeding of faith-crazed fiends or to attempt to control and repress. The Neukamerad Herr Prof. Dok. undoubtedly thinks of himself as one of Jewish Statism's very best friends, if the English account of him can be believed, but at the same time his private system of neomythology seems to deal almost exclusively with psychoanalysin’ Chancellor Hitler retrospectively and in absentiâ. The end product is not just political spinach, but dotty political spinach. If you ask me, that is, of course, which I realize you did not.

What mainstream Holocaust careerists make of Dr. Heinsohn would be worth investigating. Some of them, certainly, have expressed the view in other connections that to blame it all on one man lets zillions of others off way too lightly.

In any case, Neocomrade Dr. M. S. Kramer is a different sort of neocareerist altogether, and does not appeal to Heinsohn's spinach about ‘sacrifice’, only to his Demographics for Dummies, with which the dotty adolfology has no immediately visible connection.